Why We're Cold

For the record, PETA, my dog just looks sad; I couldn't drag him out of the snow. If this were me, there would be actual tears, though. Frozen tears. Of misery.

There is no need to explain why winter is horrible. It is understood that being cold is an uncomfortable situation; much like being hungry, being unfulfilled professionally, or being locked in a dark basement. The point is, nobody likes it. Even the freaks that like to play in the snow don’t actually like feeling cold or being inconvenienced/wounded by the perils of treacherous driving conditions. 

Driving conditions are perhaps more treacherous when you experience them whilst trying to take a picture out of your windshield.

Why on earth in this large country that has places in it where “winter” means: *long sleeves every once in a while* would people put up with intermittent tundra? Well, because of all the knuckleheads we love who also put up with it. Home is where your people are and my people enjoy suffering. Apparently. 

This is supposed to represent my people because most of them would kill me if I put a picture of them on the internet. So, pretend those are my peoples' foot prints.

Sure there are pesky things like jobs keeping people here, but, people in Florida have jobs. People in southern California and Hawaii have jobs. And when they leave them at the end of the day, they can go to the beach. 

DISCLAIMER: My feet were not in Florida, southern California or Hawaii when this picture was taken.

As this past Christmas season (AKA the only redeeming thing about winter) ended, I decided if I was going to suffer through a mini ice age every year to stay close to my people, I was going to spend more time with my people. 

I proceeded to fill my calendar. I’ve hostessed people at my house. I’ve gone to breakfasts and coffees and movie dates. I even had a photo shoot date with my photographer friend/cousin. (Which was AWESOME, by the way.)

I’d love to say, “It worked! My people are worth it!” Well...

Of course they’re worth it. What did you think I was going to say? I love my people. But I can’t muster the enthusiasm or exclamation points. I see no reason why we can’t all move about six states south (or nine states west) cause this whole winter thing is ridiculous. 

It’s like a huge psychology experiment studying learned helplessness. All the scientists in the warm states are shaking their heads at us pityingly wondering, why don’t they just leave? 

Cause our people won’t leave with us.

I'm staying.

The obvious solution is to become a snowbird. Those brilliant souls that enjoy their people all spring and summer and then say, “that's it, I'm out” once the cold weather hits. My dream is to one day rub my loved ones’ noses in how warm I am while they’re shoveling snow. *Sigh* Beautiful, isn't it?

But, right now I have school-aged children. And since they don’t have a while-you’re-away pellet feeder for kids like they do for fish (Hello? Business idea!) looks like I’m stuck with this whole winter thing for a bit longer. Nothing to do but make the best of it with the rest of the crazies. Stay warm fellow sufferers, winter will end eventually. (Probably.)